Few questions in custody cases spark more debate than whether a child should have a say in where they live. Parents often hear conflicting stories: some believe a certain age gives children the power to decide, while others assume their opinions never matter.
The truth lies somewhere in between, shaped by Colorado law and the way judges handle parental responsibility cases. Understanding how courts approach a child’s wishes helps parents prepare for what can be one of the most sensitive parts of custody proceedings.
So, Can My Child Decide Which Parent to Live With?
Children in Colorado cannot decide outright which parent they will live with. Judges retain that responsibility and are bound by law to act under the Best Interests of the Child standard. This standard, outlined in C.R.S. § 14-10-124, directs courts to consider a broad set of factors before finalizing custody arrangements. A child’s preference is one of those factors, but it never overrides the rest.
In practice, this means a child’s opinion enters the conversation but does not close it. Judges must balance that opinion against the child’s safety, stability, and overall well-being. If a preference aligns with these broader interests, it may carry more influence. If it conflicts, the judge may set it aside.
At What Age Will a Judge Take My Child’s Preference More Seriously?
Colorado law avoids setting a strict age cutoff. Instead, the statute says the child must be “sufficiently mature” to share a reasoned and independent preference. That means judges look at developmental readiness. While older teens are often viewed as more capable of expressing thoughtful opinions, younger children are not automatically ignored if they demonstrate maturity.
The absence of a bright-line rule keeps the process individualized. A mature twelve-year-old who explains that staying in one home maintains school stability might be persuasive. On the other hand, a sixteen-year-old who simply wants fewer rules may not sway the court. Judges focus on the quality of the reasoning and whether the child demonstrates awareness of long-term consequences. Age matters, but maturity and reasoning matter more.
How Do Judges Evaluate a Child’s Wishes?
Judges will look at whether the child has the maturity to understand the consequences, whether the reasoning shows thoughtfulness and stability, and whether the choice is free from parental influence. These three elements — maturity, reasoning, and independence — are the pillars that determine how much weight the court will assign.
Colorado courts also take steps to validate the child’s voice. Judges may interview the child privately in chambers. In higher-conflict matters, the court often appoints Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) or Parental Responsibility Evaluators (PREs). CFIs conduct fact-focused interviews and observations, while PREs deliver in-depth psychological assessments. Both roles help judges determine whether the child’s stated preference reflects true independence or outside pressure.
What Other Factors Will the Court Consider?
A child’s wishes are never considered in isolation. Colorado law requires judges to weigh many factors when deciding custody, each designed to support the child’s long-term welfare. These include:
- The wishes of both parents
- The child’s relationship with parents, siblings, and other important figures
- Adjustment to home, school, and community
- The mental and physical health of everyone involved
- Each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
- The past involvement of each parent in the child’s daily life
Judges pay close attention to whether each parent encourages contact with the other. A parent who undermines or limits that bond risks losing credibility in the eyes of the court, even if the child expresses a preference to live with them. The law recognizes that children benefit from strong relationships with both parents whenever possible, so a preference that threatens that balance often carries less weight.
What Happens if Parents Disagree About a Child’s Preference?
Disagreements about a child’s wishes are common in custody disputes. One parent may claim the child wants to live with them, while the other argues that the preference is the result of pressure, bribery, or manipulation. Judges expect these conflicts and take steps to sort out what is genuine from what is influenced.
When disagreements happen, the court relies on a mix of evidence and professional evaluations. Consistency is also important: if a child’s stated wishes change depending on who is present, that inconsistency may signal pressure. Parents should be prepared for the court to scrutinize not just what the child says, but also the behaviors and actions of the parents themselves.
Can Custody Orders Change as My Child Gets Older?
As children grow, their needs and perspectives often change. A parenting plan that worked for a grade-schooler may not make sense once that child becomes a teenager with new academic demands, social ties, and stronger opinions about where they belong. Judges know that growing maturity can give children the ability to express thoughtful, independent preferences, and those perspectives sometimes lead the court to revisit an existing order.
That does not mean custody automatically shifts when a child voices a new preference. The legal threshold for modification depends on how long the current order has been in place. If two or more years have passed, the parent requesting modification must show that adjusting the order would promote the child’s best interests and meet specific criteria under Colorado law.
If less than two years have passed, the bar is higher: the requesting parent must prove that the child’s current environment endangers their physical health or emotional development.
Will My Child Have to Testify in Court?
One of the biggest fears parents share is that their child will be placed on the witness stand and asked to choose between them. In Colorado, judges almost never allow that scenario. Courts recognize the emotional toll of forcing a child to testify directly in front of parents, and the law provides alternatives designed to protect the child’s well-being.
Instead of formal testimony, a judge may interview a child privately in chambers. Judges also rely on input from court-appointed professionals to bring the child’s perspective into the case without putting them on the spot. These methods ensure children are heard without carrying the heavy burden of testifying against one of their parents.
Who Speaks for My Child in Court?
In Colorado custody cases, a child may be given a voice in court through a Child Legal Representative (CLR). These are attorneys appointed by the court to advocate for the child’s best interests. That means they do not simply argue for what the child says they want. Instead, they investigate the family situation and provide the judge with recommendations grounded in the child’s long-term welfare.
A CLR’s work can involve reviewing school or medical records, interviewing parents, and meeting privately with the child. Unlike evaluators such as CFIs or PREs, who prepare investigative reports, a CLR is a legal advocate who participates in the case, files motions, and makes arguments in court. This structure ensures that a child’s perspective is considered, but filtered through professional judgment about what arrangement best supports stability and development.
How Moreno Family Law, LLC Helps Parents Facing Custody Questions
When custody disputes involve a child’s preferences, parents often wonder how much weight those views will actually carry in court. Some hope a judge will listen closely to what their child wants, while others worry the preference will be dismissed entirely.
At Moreno Family Law, LLC, our Denver County family law lawyer helps families move past the uncertainty by showing how the law treats these situations and building strategies tailored to their circumstances.
How we guide families through custody disputes:
- Case evaluation. We review existing parenting orders, examine how each parent has been involved in the child’s life, and identify whether changes in maturity, schooling, or family circumstances may justify new arguments.
- Evidence development. Our team organizes and presents evidence that ties directly to statutory factors, such as a child’s adjustment to school, the importance of sibling bonds, and each parent’s ability to support healthy relationships.
- Support with professionals. If the court appoints a Child and Family Investigator, Parental Responsibility Evaluator, or Child Legal Representative, we prepare parents for what those roles mean, how to interact with them, and how their findings may influence the case.
- Advocacy in court. We craft arguments that highlight stability, safety, and long-term well-being, ensuring the judge sees how your proposed parenting plan meets the Best Interests of the Child standard.
- Planning for the future. Custody cases rarely end with a single order. We advise parents on how to approach modifications, relocation requests, or other changes that may arise as children grow older.
A child’s opinion is part of custody, not the only factor judges weigh. Get clarity on how it fits into your case by scheduling a free consultation online or by calling (303) 590-3690. We offer in-office or virtual consultations for your convenience.